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DBZ Meets the NBA

Jac Manuell

Have you ever wondered what NBA players would fit into the gloriously violent Dragon Ball world? We’ve seen the GIFs of our favorite NBA superstars going Super Saiyan. There’s LeBron:

And of course, Steph:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0WaiRulyoY

But what NBA players actually have a DBZ character equivalent? We at Off the Glass have undergone painstaking research to come up with the following comparisons. If you don’t like them then I’ll destroy you like Teen Gohan did against Cell in Season 6.

Best moment of the series, am I right?

This article aims to bring the best of James Naismith and Akira Toriyama’s creations together; we hope it does those two great things justice.

Piccolo – Kawhi Leonard

These two get shit done. They don’t want the fanfare but they’ve got the goods when the moment calls for it. And if this description of Piccolo taken from Dragon Ball Wiki isn’t Kawhi Leonard, then I’ll be damned, “Piccolo is always a stern, grumpy, and distant character, rarely smiling and preferring solitude to the company of others.”

Master Roshi – Vince Carter

Roshi and Carter are the epitome of stalwart elder statesmen. Both have the similarity of age; Roshi is over 300 years old, Carter is 40 going into his 20th season of NBA basketball, and they both have longevity and wisdom on their side. They both also find the joy in life and love nothing more than to smile and have a laugh.

Yamcha – Nick Young

I feel bad for Swaggy P in this comparison but it had to be made. To put it harshly, both of these guys are duds. Yes, Yamcha is a powerful human but he can’t compete with the Saiyans or other Z Warriors and enemies. As for Young, well his crowning achievement other than wearing Yeezys during a game, was being married to Australian rap superstar (tongue-in-cheek) Iggy Azalea.

While they may lack the talent and power of their counterparts you can’t help but root for these two loveable misfits.

Trunks – Gordon Hayward

Two words: the hair. My god look at their glorious hair! #hairenvy

Gohan – Kyrie Irving

Kyrie won’t like this comparison because he’ll feel like he’s being ‘little brothered’. This comparison makes a lot of sense though; both have had huge moments (Gohan defeating Cell, Kyrie with the 2015-16 Game 7 shot) but also haven’t reached their full potential. They have all the talent in the world but one thing Kyrie has is upside, whereas Gohan has been all-downhill since the Cell Saga (bloody Chi-Chi). Kyrie with the Celtics has a hell of a future whereas Gohan’s prime fighting days are over (why Chi-Chi? Why?)

Vegeta – Kevin Durant

These two dudes are stone cold killers (Vegeta literally, KD on the court). Both guys have embraced the villain role in spectacular fashion. When it comes to their relative capabilities both are two of the best in their respective fields and a fan favourite of many.

Goku – LeBron James

Goku is the G.O.A.T of the Dragon Ball world. LeBron is pushing for G.O.A.T status. Both are beloved and revered figures in their worlds. They both get the absolute utmost out of their bodies. On another note, they’re also both kind of goofy and love nothing more than be silly with their family and friends. With the amount of power The King possesses and his peak longevity, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was part Saiyan.

Mr Satan – Lavar Ball

These guys have bigger barks than their bites. They talk the talk but can’t walk the walk. They also have more talented children then they are themselves (Vedel, Lonzo, etc). Funnily enough Mr Satan and Lavar have their fair share of fans (really, they do). If you could put a muzzle on any two people in the NBA/Dragon Ball worlds it would definitely be these two loudmouths.

Let us know your thoughts on the list, good or bad, on Twitter.

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